Dirty WHOers Podcast - Episode 57

Hey folks.

Another week of Who, another podcast. We're kicking them out, in this the anniversary year. Don't worry, it won't last.

This time we engage in (occasionally heated) debate at two episodes out of the new series, 'Hide' and 'Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS  [2013] (watch out for the very special rant about the Eye of Harmony). With undertones of Scooby Do and with a run-around the TARDIS on the cards, we always knew this was going to be a shouty one - and we knew Sen would have plenty to say :)

This one has been out for a few days already on iTunes (and via the RSS feed). If you want to get these ramblings before other peeps, please subscribe.
A big thanks  as ever, to The Prof for banging out such a quick edit, and (if it confuses you as much as it confuses Terry) we've now put the Dirty WHOers rating system online (as well as the obligatory Dirty WHOers drinking game).

We're also over at Facebook (deal with it) and rockin' Twitter and Google Plus, where we share the daily bollocks we find around the web.

Come say 'ello, and cheers again for putting up with us. It's like care in the community.

Some thoughts on Doctor Who fans calling other fans "negative."

This season I keep reading fan's posts labeling other fans as "negative" because they didn't like a story or even this season. These "negative" nay-sayers have dared to be honest and critical.

Does that mean they don't like Doctor Who?

   Yeah, I wanted to like this week's story, "Nightmare in Silver," I really did(me and Neil Gaiman have a thing, he just doesn't know about it and that’s the way we like it.) But there was a lot that let me down, didn't grip me and annoyed me. Even simply the way the characters were behaving was somehow off to me. I don't want to get into it(off topic, believe it or not), but this was my gut feeling as it finished. Before it started, I had built it up to two friends who were there watching along with me. Afterwards, they asked if I had enjoyed it. I said "meh". Immediately the floodgates opened and they jumped in with "Oh good, because we thought it didn't compare to other good Doctor Who stories, but we didn't want to offend you." It's so sweet they didn't want to offend my fanatical Whovian sensibilities, but I can take it. They then proceeded to rake it over the coals, beyond my own personal objections to the story.

   Hey, say what you like. You are free to express yourself. If you don't like something I like, that's alright. Some people don't like chocolate(WHAT!?). Does that make them "negative"? The only negativity present is when people try to deny others the right to 'not like' a certain story and voice their opinions(This works for life in general). The irony is that they use the word "negative" to somehow discourage, disparage, or censor the people that disagree with their positive experience of the story. Voicing a preference in any direction, positive or negative, should not be labeled a negative act. It may be a negative reaction or opinion, but the person is not being negative. 'Negative' is not allowing others to express another opinion, or thinking their differing opinion somehow lessens yours.  He/she is sharing a preference and this is a constructive act, a positive act, an act of trust in others to listen with respect, regardless of any personal views. Additional viewpoints strengthen everyone. Your views don't invalidate my thoughts on the subject and vice-versa. This sharing of opinions is what makes a community strong, open, and intelligent. The TARDIS goes anywhere in Space and Time and so can our minds.

   Also, having a bit of humor in your heart helps when someone tells you 'Love and Monsters' is one of their favorite Doctor Who stories(WHAT?!).

Seriously, WTF?

     ~ Terry Lightfoot. ;-)

Dirty WHOers Podcast - Episode 56

Roll up. Roll up. See the wastrels review another episode. Be amazed as they pay homage to the Pertwee era. Marvel as they talk about 'Carnival of Monsters' [1973]. Witness them slur their vowels and forget what they were talking about...

Once again we gather together in the customs room of fate (thanks to The Profs editing) to froth on about lighting farts, Gallifreyan bureaucracy, sweaty plastic hats, the spy skills of Katy Manning and fist fighting with Harry, pen toppers that eat space ships, missing UNIT family members, f'words while filming or it's for keeps, the subtle social messages of Robert Holmes, flappy bald things, nail clippers up the ass, and some stuff about Doctor Who.

Are we boring when we agree? Mercifully, it's very short. Remember, If y'need it, here's the Dirty WHOers rating system, and the Dirty WHOers drinking game.

This is therapy. Thanks for listening.

Dirty WHOers Podcast - Episode 55

First of the new season. Here we go. 3 in one. Bosh!

'Bells of St. John', 'The Rings of Akhaten' (however the hell you pronounce it), and 'Cold War'. A mixed bag of ratings, from the usual crew.

We chew the fat about Girl Scout cookies, Lacertilia body armour, Unicode router addresses, audience participation singing, grandfatherly v's stalkerish behaviour (the Worthers Original effect), episode order, assorted Brit actors (and their potential Gallifreyaness), the merits of the Triumph Bonneville Scrambler, America's (not) got talent, fictional overhead compartments, crackling Crocodylidae energy, the cantina scene from Star Wars, and occasional mention of Doctor Who.

Thanks (as ever) to The Prof, and to Scott from FANWANK for the fun custom intro - and hey, if you wanna do an into for the podcast, just let us know. We have no shame :)

Don't forget to check out the Dirty WHOers rating system, and our podcast drinking game.

New series viewer? Did you get lost with the nostalgia in these episodes? El Presidente Senmondo wants to know, so have your say over on Facebook or Google Plus.

As ever, you lovely deranged creatures, a very big thank you for punishing your ears with our bollocks.

Dirty WHOers Podcast - Episode 54

Once upon a time there were 4 podcasters...

Here we are again, this time taking a gander at one of Troughton's few remaining episodes, 'The Mind Robber' [1968]. Brace your self.

The sounds a bit dodgey on this one in places. Thanks Prof for doing the usual tricky edit.

This time around we discuss the difference in odor between canine and feline guano. The ignorance of certain podcasters as to the intricacies of the Start Trek universe. The knees and underwear of the Scottish. Killer soundscapes. Age restrictions on the possession of a glittery purple derriere. Terry's mute button skills. All the usual bollocks.

Plus, Sen totally goes off on one (in the best way possible). Which is always awesome.

Mini-review of the Matt Smith monologue from The Rings of Akhaten with bonus rant.

This is what I thought of Matt Smith's monologue
from The Rings of Akhaten:

~

...And before anyone starts, NO I don't hate Doctor Who. I simply did not like that scene. I'm a whovian. Not a born again. I can 'not like' some stories or scenes in Doctor Who, or even certain Doctors. It's OK. I've noticed some conversations on the internet saying there are whovians that hate Doctor Who just because they didn't like this episode. WHAT?
Are we really that intolerant of other opinions? I mean, I like to joke and give my friends a hard time when they like 'Love and Monsters' or Adric(seriously, what?), but I don't think they hate Doctor Who because of it. Sheesh, people. That's a pretty big leap in logic.
   So don't freak out when I say..
It's a TV show. Get some perspective. There are people dying in the real world because of real monsters. Human, mostly..

Oh, see... now I've ranted all over myself.

    ~Terry Lightfoot

The Dirty WHOers Ratings System Explained

I've been tasked with writing about our ratings system as punishment for always forgetting it every time I'm supposed to rate something. Give me a break! We record one podcast a month. That's like centuries to my brain, with the memory capacity of an IBM 450 from back in the day. Rassilon's Beard! My brain's seriously damaged due to.. well, never mind that.

Oh, sorry, forgot I was supposed to be going over our rating system.
Right, then.

Our system is based on 1970's prostitutes or gigolos. If you're old enough think of 'Baretta' or 'Starsky and Hutch, or if your too young for that just think nasty cheap sex for hire that comes to your car window when you drive by on Hollywood Blvd. I watch movies and cop shows. I know all about this. I actually drove down Hollywood Blvd. in the 70's.
I was so scared!

A Free BJ ~ The lowest of the low rating:
According to everyone in the Whovian world "Time Lash" would be a free BJ. But I say that's hi art compared to "Time and the Rani," where there's a Melanie Bush AND there's the Rani dressed up as Melanie Bush, which necessitates a vomit bowl nearby. Frankly, I wouldn't EVEN give it a free BJ because I don't want to get close to that b*tch. No, Thanks. She's clearly severely disease ridden. Keep in mind one speaks metaphorically of the story, not the actors/actresses. Usually.

Moving on from the horror...

A $5 whore:
This is a healthier specimen, one that is barely tolerable to look at, but put a bag over the gigolo/prostitute's head and the body's allright. So for me, this might be, hmm..., "Fear Her," or "Love and Monsters." There's a plot somewhere and it's stupid. You can watch it, but you'd rather not ever lay eyes on that paving stone again.
*shivers* Ughh.


Continuing on with this rancid metaphor of a rating system..

The $10 whore:
They're not painful to look at, maybe a bit plain, but they know some tricks that make up for it and take you where you want to go. You wouldn't mind watching this story again if you had to. There are some good bits and scenes that make up for some of the weak acting and poor plotting.

This brings us to the $20 Whore:
Wow, this one's got looks and a nice ride that takes you to where you were hoping to end up, deliciously satisfied. You will gladly watch this one again and again. A great value for the price and the plot wasn't too predictable, including a happy ending.




Finally, the $50 whore:
The prostitute/gigolo is amazingly hot and gorgeous. They provide a mind blowing sexual trip that leaves you dazed and thinking you just had a conversation with the Universe through your crotch. But you didn't. You just watched "Blink" or "The Pyramids of Mars" for the first time. Bliss is yours. You want to watch this over and over and over again.
It will never get old.

TIPS:
All of these ratings can be embellished by adding imaginative tips, if you feel they require something more. These tips can consist of cash, fare for the ride home, or you shell out some dough for a new outfit. Or maybe you had such a good time you make/buy her/him a nice breakfast. Maybe you promise to keep her as a mistress, paying off her pimp and putting her up in a condo so you can visit her again and again. Or you fucking marry that prostitute/gigolo saving them from a life of sin and make them your one and only("The Doctor's Wife," or "Genesis of the Daleks").

And I'm spent.

Dirty WHOers Podcast - Episode 53

Hola fellow Whovians. Here again? Did you not learn the error of your ways last time?

Reaching back into the Hartnell era this time around we take cast a bleary eye over the series 2 classic 'The Web Planet' [1965]. A mixed response on this one, with Lightfoot agreeing with Sputnik and Sen agreeing with Fuschia - which always makes for a lot of shouting, unrepressed bigotry, and generally swearing at each other...

One big ass incoherent review of Gallifrey 2013, a discussion on 60's Alzheimer's medication, debate regarding the miming abilities and flight capacity of Vespiforms, interruptions,  piss-taking, all the usual. A big thanks to the Prof. for another miracle edit.

Pour a very large one. You're going to need it. If you're drinking Tequila, do the worm.

Dirty WHOers Podcast - Episode 52

The usual 4 reprobates (Sputters has still got his porn-star voice - so we'd like to apologise if anyone of a nervous disposition feints away) review the Big Tom classic 'The Power of Kroll' [1979].

Terry Wogan accents, the sizzling hotness of Romana I, pink rods in big squids, big shout-outs, remembering tree protesters, the madness of Big Tom, and all the usual tipsy fluff.

Don't forget to give the Dirty WHOers Drinking Game a punt, plus remember we're also on Facebook, 'n Google Plus, n shit.

Boomshanka.

My favorite 3rd Doctor Stories

My favorite 3rd Doctor stories, fast and furious and in no particular order.
..Because +Brian Morris over on G+ asked for a recommendation for watching Jon Pertwee's Doctor, so here's my list. ~ Terry Lightfoot

Let's see..
Well, you can't go wrong with Spearhead from Space, Pertwee's first story. Autons, a skeptical Liz Shaw and a regenerated Doctor(a mysterious unknown for a few min). Gurning ensues.

The first Silurian story is a good one, because.. Silurians. (Doctor Who and the Silurians) He still doesn't quite get on with the Brig and the ending is a shocker. Seriously, it's harsh and makes a dark statement.

Inferno is fun. Alternate universe where good guys are bad. Eye patch Brig. Sexy bad Liz. Pseudo Zombies. It's all win.

Oh, right! Terror of the Autons. The second Auton Story, here because it introduces the Master and Jo, and a great death scene with a chair. Unforgettable in fact. Ew.. AND an icky creepy doll. Yuck. Oh, and a dapper Time Lord messenger. And then, other things happen. Daffodils.



OOOH. Almost forgot: 
The Three Doctors. Why? TWO Doctors(come on, the other is on a TV for about 5 minutes. Ok? Whatever.) It's really the two. And the Pertwee-Troughton dynamic is a thing of beauty. AND The ultimate Time Lord: OMEGAAA!!! His story is awesome. Oh, AND Benton is unimpressed.

The Green Death - a fairly solid story, a handsome scientist is in it(Mmm), GIGANTIC MAGGOTS, Jo says goodbye to the Doctor and his feelings for her break your heart. He loved her. Lots. The first Rose, without all that running mascara and, here, she dumps him. WHAT!?

Ok, one of my real Pertwee favorites is Time Warrior. I just like it because Sarah's in Doctor Who for the first time, being a skeptic and causing trouble in a good way. She's all: I don't care if you are a "Time lord", how do I know you aren't a bad dude? Etc.. Oh, and one of my favorite monsters: Sontarans. Asshole Sontarans, not funny Sontarans. 

And .. Planet of the Spiders. 
Some people don't like it, because it's a bit long. Personally I find it highly entertaining with twists and lots of scenery and character variety. Giant freaking spiders, all right? Ok, ok.. Medium large freaking spiders. Still, fantastic. Effects on those are BAD but use your cgi imagination and it's awesome. 
Chanting, dimensional travel, and pseudo-Buddhism or something. Another Time Lord shows up. Cool, right? ..AND it's the last Pertwee story with all the drama that entails. "A tear, Sarah Jane?"

And there's more, but I think
this is a good selection
to start with and fall in
love with Jon Pertwee













Look at this guy.

He was in love with playing
a heroic part for the first time in
his life and he played it to the hilt.
Fuck yeah, Jon Pertwee!

.