If you could produce Doctor Who, what would you do?

Doctor Who is an all inclusive format. You can take the Doctor anywhere or anyplace in Time and Space. You can change out the characters, the main actor can change. You can even take away his TARDIS for a few seasons (those darn Timelords). What would you do with the show?

Sputters and Lightfoot WHOre themselves out to the 'Doctor Who: Podshock' podcast along with Victor1st Mornington and Saffia Widdershins. In the "Oncoming Storm Edition" featuring a panel discussion, "What Would YOU Do? What Would WHO Do?" from our meet up last week in Second Life with Louis Trapani as the moderator. He's a patient man..

Dirty WHOers Podcast - Episode 32

This is what happens when the lunatics run the asylum.

Er, really?

We asked the folks on our Facebook Page which episode we should review next, and they chose Pyramids of Mars. Naturally, being his favourite, Sputters got a bit excited. In fact we all did, and we may have lost it around the middle. Actually, some of us may have drunk a bit too much vino, and it kind of descends into a bit of a rambling love-fest for all things Sutekh and Robert Holmes, but what the hell, it's mercifully short and it's free. Bless the Prof for the time in the edit suite, again.

32 episodes. We really need a life...

City of Death, and Some Other Stuff

A few new Doctor Who action figures out worth shouting about this week, which makes a change.

Let's start with the Classic stuff, another Forbidden Planet one-off. The 'City of Death' collectors set.

You get 'Big Tom', all open-shirted and in his prime, with obligatory sonic, plus (minor geek-gasum) the frightfully dapper Count Scarleoni with Scaroth Jagaroth interchangable head, pistol, and 'painting accessory' (whatever that means, it's not in the picture) for the relatively light anal damage of £26.99. Pre-order now for deliver after October 19th. Yes, I'll be having one. Feckers may as well have a direct debit out of my bank account for the classic tat.

Also this week there's been an addition to the new series collection, now on 20011 Wave 2 (or Series 5-6 Figure Wave 2a/b, depending how keen you are on keeping things in packets). There's kinda 2 lots, just to add to the confusion and to try and stop us going on about the last lot being so inexcusably shit. A ball-ache for collectors, in summing up they are, sorta:

• Idris with 1 (or more, it's complicated) Psychic Container and River Song 'flesh mask' and 'flesh sachet'.
• The Astronaut kid girl thing, and 'The Legs' 'flesh mask', plus another 'flesh sachet'.
• River MILF with a 'flesh mask' with probably another 'flesh sachet'.
• Ganger Brown Shoes 11th Doctor with 'flesh mask' and (guess what) 'flesh sachet'.
• Matty-boy Doctor with 11th Doctor 'flesh mask' and the inevitable 'flesh sachet'.
• Uncle Bollocks with Pond 'flesh mask' and (you guessed it) 'spunk sachet'.

Parents are going to be trying to get gooey white crap and spurious stains out of the hearth rug for years to come. Still no Rory, god knows why, but a River Song (all be her a bit slap-headed), and The Astronaut's ok to play with in the bath I suppose. £8.99 each. Worth it for the Idris, and at least a bit better than the first release.

Matt likes Badgers. But wait. There's more!

This is about Badgers, how Matt Smith likes Badgers and how that fact can lead us to even more Badger and/or Doctor Who related knowledge
and joy.

1./ Matt Smith likes badgers.

Come on. Say it! You know you want to:  AWWW!

Badgers and otters, respectively, are sort of my animals. -Matt Smith 

We know this fun fact about Matt thanks to the amusing and silly video ramblings of  Charlieissocoollike(Charlie McDonnell), another hopeless WHOvian. He's turned into a sort of regular or at least occasional 'Doctor Who Confidential' tourist, allowed to wander the sets of Doctor Who filming and production while being his charming Charlie self. Christmas rolled around and while they were filming those Almost Fleshy Creepy Milkshake People episodes, Charlie took it upon himself to spread some Christmas cheer to our favorite TARDIS team. During his detective work he found out that Matt Smith is partial to Badgers. And otters...and other things.

Here's the edited version of that video:

2./ The shorter badger story

You can watch the longer Doctor Who confidential version from the BBC3 YouTube channel. 

But that's not all.

3./ This of course has spawned some adorable Doctor Who Badger art. 

Yep. Get ready.

Awww!

But let's not forget 4./ Just the Badger facts, ma'am:

Badgers are short-legged, heavy-set omnivores in the weasel family, Mustelidae. There are eight species of badger, in three subfamilies (see links in species list below): Melinae (badgers of Europe and Asia), Mellivorinae (the Ratel or honey badger), and Taxideinae (the American badger).
The behavior of badgers differs by family, but all shelter underground, living in burrows called setts, which may be very extensive. Some are solitary, moving from home to home, while others are known to form clans. Clan size is variable from 2 to 15. Badgers can be fierce animals and will protect themselves and their young at all costs. Badgers are capable of fighting off much larger animals such as wolves and bears.

 The diet of the Eurasian badger consists largely of earthworms, insects, and grubs. They also eat small mammals, amphibians, reptiles and birds as well as roots and fruit.[12][13] Indeed, in southern Spain, badgers mostly feed on rabbits.[14] The honey badger (<--click the link, you know you want to.) of Africa consumes honey, porcupines and even venomous snakes (such as the puff adder).

These and more facts at: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Badger

Yes! 5./ Badgers are cool. Really!

6./ Some Badgers are in trouble.

  The British government is ignoring scientists' advice on bovine TB and promoting the erroneous idea that killing badgers(thought to be spreading the disease to cattle) will solve the bovine Tuberculosis crisis. There's plenty of rational, scientific data and observation to contradict this idea.
Inform yourself and read about the proposed culling and why it's not based on actual science, in the article over at the Guardian's Environment Blog: 'Badger culls don't stop tuberculosis in cattle – the evidence is clear.'

7./ All this has led to Badger rolling.

Beware, do not click the cute baby badgers.

8./ Fun Fact: Badgers have been known to become intoxicated with alcohol after eating rotting fruit.

And that's about it, really. I'm tired of badgering you about badgers.

;-)

(btw, this post is partially Mr. Sputnik's fault.)

Bang on Target

Its time for a shocking confession. Yes, I know, what could I possibly have to confess to (other than my dislike for the Seventh Doctor)? Well, up until yesterday, I’d never actually read a Target novelization.

“What?” I hear you cry. “Never?”

Well, no. Of course, I knew about them; they are somewhat legendary, after all, as well as being the cause of so much disappointment when missing stories are rediscovered. If I had a pound for all the times I’ve read about how let down people felt when they actually saw a lost episode because it wasn’t a patch on the novelization, I could probably afford one of those really big coffees you can have a bath in.

I blame Nev Fountain. When I was chatting to him for our memorial episodes, he mentioned how one of his schoolteachers thought he read far too many Doctor Who stories and he went on to extol their virtues in such a way that I felt I really should go out and have a look for myself. And, rather fortunately, the Beeb have tentatively re-released a select few titles to see if it’s worth their while to reproduce the entire output.


But where to start? I thought it sensible to begin not only with the Daddy of Doctor Who novelizations, Mr Terrance Dicks himself, but also a story that I’d actually seen just so I could compare the two versions. And of those available, the only one that fit the bill for me was “Doctor Who and the Auton Invasion”, better known to you and me as “Spearhead From Space”.

I wasn’t disappointed. Mr Dicks has always scared me silly (not that I’ve ever met him, but his on-screen persona is positively terrifying to this pixie), but the man can certainly crank out a rollickingly good adaptation. Dicks evokes the tone and voices of the characters beautifully and the story pelts along at a fair old pace with a few variations from the televised version (the differences are discussed in an appendix at the end of the book). And for readers who don’t know the earlier stories, there are solid introductory pieces describing the main characters and the series set-up so they can quickly get to grips with the action. I pretty much finished it in one sitting. Yes, stylistically it’s a little old-fashioned but, in a strange way, that’s actually quite comforting. This is what books were like in my childhood and there’s nothing wrong in that.

Would I read more? Definitely. In fact, I’m lining up “Doctor Who and the Abominable Snowmen” and probably “Doctor Who and the Crusades” so I can find out what’s going on in the episodes that aren’t on the “Lost In Time” DVD. But I’m also thinking of getting them because of what’s not here: all the rest of them (including the books written by Harry Sullivan, or rather Ian Marter, which I have been reliably informed are more than a little bit ace). Because if this limited re-release doesn’t sell, then for those of us who didn’t realise they were about at the time, and for a whole new generation eager to learn about the Doctor’s past, unless we’re very lucky in charity shops, we won’t get to experience the delight that is the Target novelization.

Boring Figures Announced, but Idris at Last.

Idris (finally) and Uncle (lame) to go with your Junk Yard TARDIS this morning in the Wave 2 2011 release. Also, oddly, Doctor with Beard (gee kids, don't the rocking beardy mad-man look fun to play with), (plastic/flesh, trust us) Doctor with Stetson, and a of couple of Silents (yawn, then insert flashing palm joke here).

Some cool. Some decidedly average. We still don't have a plain clothes Rory, but at least we're getting a River Song in the Panopticon Chair Set. If you want our 2 cents, we'll be buying Idris and sod the rest. Uncle will be the collectable one in the future, cos no on will buy him, and we vote Silents as most likely to be seen in a child's colonic x-ray in the near future. Go consume.

Dirty WHOers Podcast - Episode 31

Charge your glasses, and let's raise a toast to the lady.

It's a been a while in the making, and it's a big one (ooo, er, Mrs.), but this is our Elizabeth Sladen tribute episode with contributions from Dirty WHOers listeners and assorted Who peeps. This ones' from the heart.

A very big thank you to every one who contributed and supported this one, including Tim Drury, Adam and the guys at Staggering Stories Podcast, CyberTesticle (SexDalek), Nev Fountain, Graeme Harper, Rob Shearman, Bob Fischer, Abby (Queen of All), and loads of others too numerous to mention.

A especially big thanks to Fuscia and The Prof, for really pulling this one together. You rock.

Hooray for Who-Ray!

Having been alerted by our good friend Dalek Bruce, on Saturday 2nd July we trundled down to Stockton for Re-Generations, Who-Ray’s first birthday party, with guests Graeme Harper and the Northern Charity Daleks.

Who-Ray describes itself as a gifts and memorabilia shop, but what it actually is is a little treasure. Nestled on a side street just off Stockton High Street (widest in Europe, you know), it caters to both the hippy chick (incense, candles, crafts and jewellery) and the geek (comics, toys, badges and books, mostly but not exclusively Doctor Who). Run by Brian and Martin, it’s a friendly place that found itself that Saturday very much the centre of attention. It felt like the whole of Stockton had turned out to celebrate in the sunshine and apparently by day’s end, approximately 1500 people had indeed done so.

The staff and volunteers were a little overwhelmed by the turn-out (having only been expecting a hundred or so), but coped superbly wrangling Daleks and members of the public backwards and forwards between the main shop and some borrowed vacant units over the road. First off was a fan-film, which was pretty entertaining from what I could hear (being short and at the back, I couldn’t see the telly). Then Graeme Harper was introduced, only to be rudely interrupted by the Daleks making their presence felt by bursting through a screen of wall-paper, to the great surprise of those assembled.

Not only was Dalek Bruce there, but also Dalek Mack and a new addition to the clan, Dalek Nation (who was only 3 days old, bless him). The children were all very keen to have their photos taken with the Daleks, although some were a little spooked when they started talking. Being Northern Charity Daleks, the proceeds from the photo-shoots went to Butterwick House Children’s Hospice. As the day wore on and the temperature rose, the Kaled mutants were starting to melt a bit, but they were steadfast in their fundraising activities. The Prof even bought a Dalek Bruce mug. Which has 60 rells on it. Needless to say, he couldn’t stop laughing…

Graeme Harper was there not only to promote his book, Calling the Shots, but also to be interviewed by BBC Tees’ DJ Bob Fischer, an ardent Doctor Who fan we first met at Dimensions last year. This “Audience With” session was highly entertaining; mind you, we knew it would be as we’d gone to see him, Nicola Bryant and Maurice Roëves at a showing of Caves of Androzani at the Quad in Derby for Oolon’s birthday last year. Mr Harper is a very friendly, considerate and generous man who can spin quite the tale and who kindly allowed himself to be dragged into an alley for an interview (coming soon, as they say, along with Bob’s interview). His experiences on Doctor Who were fascinating to listen to, seeing as he practically grew up, career-wise, on the show and so knew many of the Doctors and assistants even if he didn’t actually direct them. He also holds the distinction of being the only original series director to have directed Nu-Who.

The highlight of the day had to be the Baa-leks, though; knitted Daleks from Nana Val, being raffled to raise more money for Butterwick House. I had my heart set on Baa-lek Doreen, the shocking pink hussy, but the Prof did manage to win Baa-lek Custard for me (as some lucky blighter managed to get to Doreen before him). He even came with an adoption certificate, signed by Nana Val and Mr Harper. He’s a bit soppy for a Dalek; we have to give him cuddles every night (it says so on the certificate and we can’t argue with Graeme Harper).

So if you are in the vicinity of Stockton, please do pop in to visit Brian and Martin. If you’re there on Saturday 3rd September, there’s going to be a showing of the Cushing movies (yes, Martin says they’re not canon, either) along with a guest appearance by Terry Molloy, the artist formerly known as Davros

You can also follow Who-Ray on Facebook here

FOUND: Floating Down Amazon in hat box.

San Diego Comic Con 2011 exclusive Leela action figure (Louise Jameson, from '77 (S14) to '78 (S15)) c/o Underground Toys and including dagger, Tesh blaster, Janus thorn, and crossbow. Forbidden Planet already have them pre-order.

You can check 'em out now at SDCC at the Underground Toys booth (#3849). It looks a bit generic from the pictures we've seen, but it's hard to tell. Let us know if it's any good, classic Doctor companion figures have been a long time coming. Also keep your eyes peeled for the 2011 San Diego Comic Con Exclusive River Song with Pandorica Chair (also on BBC America’s booth #3629) if you make it along.

TARDIS Console Room Mega Set

Not much else to report yet, but, it's rare we break some action figure news and look at this bad bugga!

Officially announced, the Character Building Doctor Who TARDIS Console Room Mega Set, with (actual plastic) Rory, exclusive Pond-in-my-Pocket, The Doctor, and River MILF.

You'll never compulsively purchase a bigger dust magnet.